Big Girl Pants

I was so surprised...I'm a married woman, starting her adult life, in a strange, new place.

I knew this day would come. Well, I'd hoped I wouldn't be a spinster cat-lady the rest of my life. But I just knew I would get married someday, because I was just too much a hopeless romantic not to find love. And I did, miraculously, find someone who wants to spend the rest of his life with me, even though I'm weird, and blah, blah. That's not what I'm here for today.

Surprised that I'm starting my adult life, married? Sure, I am. Surprised I'm starting that life somewhere new? Not really. Surprised it's New York (and upstate, too)? Yessir, I am. And not only am I now starting life with a partner, it's in a society I don't really know anything about. But I'm not here to talk about that, either.

Mostly, I kinda wanted to update those who care about what's been going on in our lives since I pretty much fell off Facebook. I know everyone knows about our getting married. Duh. I posted just way too much about that. And I know you've all seen the pictures floating around, but here are my favorites:

The First Kiss.

The First Dance.

The Wedding Party.

 Anyway, "What's been happening since then?" you ask. Well, I'm sure you also know that we moved across the country. With two adults and one cat. In one car. From Arizona to New York. Ugh.




If I have any advice for anyone, it's this: don't do it.

The Bridesmaids.

No, but really, it wasn't that bad. We were extremely lucky, and had basically no problems along the way with tires, weather, other car problems, cat problems. We lucked out. Maybe the gods took pity on us since we has just gotten married days before.

 My wonderful husband drove (pretty much the whole time, since he's stupid and has a stick-shift and I get really nervous and tense and upset driving it) for two and a half days up to Minnesota, about 8-10 hours each day, stopped at his parents' house for a few days of respite, then booked it for two and a quarter more days from there to Watertown, NY, where we've been ever since.

A couple things I want to impart on you, from our experience driving across the country with a cat:

1. Don't feed your cat(/dog?) the night before leaving. Russell learned the hard way coming out to AZ from Oklahoma, and I'll tell you, it wasn't pretty. So, that first day of driving, the cat didn't get anything to eat beforehand, and it works like a charm! We also only fed her once, at night after we stopped each night, with a can of wet food, since it travels very easily. She lost some weight, but she's perfectly fine now that she gets her regular schedule!

2. Get lucky with your animal. Seriously. We were extremely lucky to learn that Tiger handles car rides, all day, with a packed car, really well. Sure, she freaked out every now and then and would drive us crazy for like half an hour, but that was mostly when she was telling us she needed to pee/poop. (Oh yeah, put a small version of a litter box at the passenger's feet. Best idea we had. Learned that the hard way, too. We used a small basket from Russell's parents' house, a plastic bag, and some litter. Then you just have to tie up the bag, dump it in a gas station trash can, and put a new bag in! Easy!) Tiger, though, mostly climbed around the stuff in the car, and slept. Awesome.

One of Tiger's favorite places to sleep.

And this.

And this.

And look how cute the Newlyweds are.

When we got into Watertown, the first thing we did (on my birthday) was to check into the cheapest hotel we were willing to stay in: the Econo Lodge. Then, we got me all situated in the Army database as an Army wife, with a military ID and everything. Yay! I'm official now! And then, finally, we went to the Housing office to work on getting a house.

Blah, blah, stuff happened, and here's the scoop on that: We're on the list to get the officer housing, which looks awesome! We'll (hopefully soon) be getting a 3-bedroom (as if we need that!), and pretty much all the houses look brand spanking new! Needless to say, we're pretty excited to move in! And to move out of the Econo Lodge, but that's another detail, clearly. We've got a pretty good chance, it seems, of being able to move in fairly soon, too, which would just be so awesome.

Next, I stumbled upon an open position on Drum as a pre-k "associate," which I assume is Army talk for "teacher." I applied, and now just have to wait for the call for an interview! Hopefully.

Until then, and we get all moved in somewhere, and we can find me a cheapo car (eventually), we're just hanging out in our hotel room. Being boring and trying to eat fairly healthy and cheap.

Oh, also, my husband had infected bed bugs bites that drove us to the hospital on the night of my birthday to make sure it wasn't shingles. Don't worry--the antibiotics are clearing him up, and he isn't all welt-y and gross anymore. :]

Umm, said husband is bothering me for attention now and I'm pretty sure I've forgotten whatever else I was gonna tell you guys, you lucky dogs, you.

So anyway, you few readers out there that made it through all that rambling, stay surprised, people. :] 'Til next time!

Also, from experience, don't let the bedbugs bite! ;]

Ch-Ch-Changes!

I was so surprised...I'm changing my plans to go along with someone else's.

Now, by this I don't mean, "Man, I really wanted mac & cheese for dinner, but I guess I'll go ahead and have chicken, since Russell was planning on that." No. You don't give up on your mac & cheese.

Also, I'm talking about bigger, more life-involved, plans. Like the ones I had for jetting off to Spain, Ireland, Germany, etc. to teach on American military bases. To see the world all by myself, like an independent, grown-up girl who does what she wants and travels to exotic places, even though she's a teacher. Man, those plans sound awesome, Right?

But I'm trading those plans...for now. Don't be disappointed in me, people, or think I'm giving up on a dream. Trust me, there is absolutely NO WAY I will be giving up on that dream, I can tell you that. I'm just...pushing them back...

**Point emphasized below with bold, underline, and italics for those who don't want to read all the nonsense. :] For those that do, I thank you for your patience, and caring. :]

For those of you who haven't been following my life like the stalkers the internet turns us into, I've recently made a bold move and moved to Lawton, Oklahoma to be with my boyfriend (of one month, at the time), who happens to be in the army and to have been sent here. Woah, Brandi? Move to be with a boy? Gasp!

I know, I know, skeptical reader, I thought it would never happen. AND NOW, I tell you, I'm planning on moving, again, with him after we leave this...beautiful?...place.

Now, if you're clucking your silly little tongue at me for becoming a pushover woman who conforms to a man's life, I have some choice words for you. And I also thought of that myself before even deciding to follow him. So there. :P

And just look how cute we are!

If you're cheering for me, I am quite fond of you, and you must know the amount of thought that went into this--let's be honest, I'm a stop-and-think-about-all-possible-outcomes-before-doing-anything-especially-when-independence-is-questioned-and/or-a-guy-is-involved kinda girl. If you're in this second category of people who are hoping I actually met a guy I (gasp!) fell in love with, finally, and that I don't somehow awkwardly mess this up, I would like to inform you that my bf will be in the 10th Mountain Division (if that means anything to you) at Fort Drum, in New York. Northern New York, where my dear friend Leah and her hubby just were.

Basically, what it all boils down to, my friends, who have persevered through the ramblings to this conclusion, is that I will be moving to New York with my boyfriend** starting sometime in December or January, and that we will be stopping by Minnesota (to visit his family) and Arizona (to visit my family and our friends from NAU) in the meantime...after Lawton...in about November. It's hard to pin this guy down to details sometimes.

And I'm changing my life for a dude. But weirder things have happened, right?

Besides, maybe some day I'll get to make him move with me to random places! (Also, I promise I'm not being stupid about this. A lot of thought has gone into my decision, I assure you!)

Stay surprised, my friends. I know I am.

Oooooooooklahoma!

I was so surprised...I'm moving to Oklahoma.

Well, it's for a relatively short period of time--5 months--but I will be moving. To Oklahoma. Land of...Something...And, for those of you who are less-informed, I'm moving there with my boyfriend.

Yes, folks. Brandi the Unswayable has been swayed. A boy has caught my attention and held it long enough to convince me I like him enough to move in with him. I know. Who could've called that one? Certainly not me.

But, alas, it did, and I'll be leaving in just three weeks-ish. With that in mind, my Phoenix-based friends, get your Brandi Time while you can!

Basically, this was my quick, easy way of informing everyone of my immediate life plans. So, just know that I've thought a lot about what I'm doing and that I'm happy with him and with my decision, and that you'll still be hearing from me anyway. Unless he kills me. So watch for signs of murder, as well. ;]

Stay surprised, people. :]

I've got treats!

I was so surprised...I've written something I'm really, really proud of.

Well, it's been a long time since I've posted anything in here, and, since I have no news that's very interesting, I decided I'll go ahead and give you a little treat. :] I've finally been able to write again, and have been working diligently on my "New Project 6!"--as it's currently titled. It's been something quite great, too, that I've done with this one.

If you've missed my previous explanations, you can check here or here, or just read on for a brief description.

Basically, this is the dystopian future one, about a time when the world's water has almost run out, and the things that would naturally (or, maybe not) come from that situation. At least as far as human nature is concerned. :] It's pretty intense, and it's going to be really cool, if I can do this right. So anyway, without much further ado, I've gone ahead and copied the pretty (to me) prologue I created right into this post. Yay! If you're curious, give it a little read, but keep in mind that I've done about 30 pages total, and it won't be finished for a while, and that this does tell you a very, very little bit about the world in which this story takes place, for my character, at least. So, enjoy!

Prologue

            Rrrrrnnnhhh!

            I jump—startled awake by the grinding sound—and pull my arm back just in time to save it from the greedy teeth of the giant, industrial saw.

            All I can do is stare at the machine as it eats away metal, sparks flying. My mind is running too slow to understand what it means.

            I clutch my arm to my chest, watching.

            “Valeria!” Randall calls to me—his voice echoes over cement and aluminum—leaping across the floor to my workstation.

            Rough hands push me away and I stumble, watching efficient hands shut off the machine.

            He turns to me, pulling thick goggles back, and something burns in his eyes, but I can’t tell what it is. “Valeria, what were you thinking? You nearly got yourself killed.” He keeps talking. Muffled sounds murmur through my head, overpowering the buzzing of metal cutting metal, sparks melting metal, hammers pounding metal.

            I blink rapidly, feeling his words sink through my skin, pumping through my veins. You nearly got yourself killed. I can almost feel them seep into my tired brain.

            You almost got yourself killed.

            I just fell asleep at my machine. I almost cut my arm off.

            Every breath I take catches on something hard in my throat.

            Blackness closes around the edges of my vision, but not in sleep this time.           

            As I march myself over the hard ground toward home, my body aching from the 16-hour shift, I think about our situation. It’s hard not to on payday.

            I glance down at the meager coins that fill my palm, jingle them a little.

            It’s not enough. It’ll never be enough.

            We work so hard, my mother and I both, working every day, every night. No breaks, no rests. We rarely even see each other.

            Mother would’ve been so angry if I’d cut off my arm. How would we ever make enough to send for my siblings if I’d done that?

            Stupid.

            We already work so hard.

            But it’s still not enough. We’ll never have enough to bring them home. They’ll be stuck with Uncle Richmond. Stuck there forever.

            A sound of frustration escapes my lips.

            Maybe they’ll live better lives there. My mother and I will just have to get along without them. What can we do? We’re already doing as much as we can.

            There’re no jobs, no money, no food.

            There’s nothing to be had here! Nothing.

            They’re better off over there, on the east coast. Near the capital.

            At least this corrupt government takes better care of the eastern side. And at least Uncle Richmond has food. At least he can afford to feed them all. Unlike us.

            We’re landlocked here, with little food, and even less work, even less money. There's nothing for us here; there’s nothing for my siblings here.

            Nothing for me here, either. If only Mother would let me join the rebel faction! I’m sixteen now. I’m old enough to make my decisions.

            But we’ve had this discussion before.

            I know my duty. I need to put my family above myself. My siblings matter more than I do. Their wellbeing is my responsibility.

            My mind switches back to the problem at hand. They shouldn’t return here.

            I take a deep breath in. Release it.

            I’m going to tell my mother tonight. Tonight, while we have a few hours together.

            I don’t think that Sabri, Sakina, Callista, or Lilith should come home. I think they should stay. Stay in the east with Uncle Richmond. Never come back here.

            She won’t take it very easily. I know she misses them, especially Sabri. She tries not to show it, but our mother favors him. Even over his twin.

            Maybe it’s because his voice sounds like Dad’s. Maybe he reminds her of him.

            Maybe she never got over Dad’s death. Maybe she never will.

            I wonder if I’ll ever get over the loss of my siblings.

            I wonder if I’ll ever see them again.

            I shake my head.

            Doesn’t matter; they’ll be better off without us. Maybe one day I can join them.

            A bitter laugh frees itself from my throat, and I almost smile with the sound. There’s no way I’d be able to make the trip out there.

            Mother would never approve.

            She won’t ever see her children again.

            Somewhere in her frozen heart, I know she loves them. And I know that she would want them to be happy, fed, clothed.

            I’ll make her understand. I know that I want what’s best for them. I’ll fight for them, and I will make sure that they are given whatever we can give them.

            There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for them.

            A sound of disgust ripples through me when I realize I’ve been clutching my arm to my chest. I guess I’d better tell Mother what happened today. I sigh.

            Reaching for the door, I turn the rusty knob.

            The wind catches the door and flings it open, slamming it against the crumbling side of the house.

            The smell hits me first.

            It’s the smell of rotting wood and wet, sure, but that’s just the smell of our house. There’s something else. Some other odor that penetrates the smell of the rundown shack we call a home.

            And it stinks. It stings my nose and burns my eyes.

            It’s the smell of death.

            I’ve smelled it before, though certainly not with such power.

            This is much worse. And it’s in my house.

            What is this?

            My eyes scan the tiny room, looking for the source of the offending smell. There’s nothing else I see.

            Then my eyes drift to the ground, right at my feet.

            I practically tripped over them.

            The eyes. Her eyes. The wide, unflinching eyes stare back at me. Her eyes. They stare at me and stare through me. They don't move. They scare me.

            I look down, farther. Her mouth is twisted, ugly; her body turned, splayed across the floor.

            And there’s blood. So much blood.

            Little droplets splatter all over her face; all over her hands; all over the dress that was once pretty, years ago. Now it’s crusty, dirty. Covered in blood.

            And there’s blood pooling around her, seeping out, into the rotting wood of the floor.

            I see the knife sticking out of her stomach. It’s buried up to the handle.

            But those are her hands wrapped around the handle. Not someone else’s.

            I call out her name, stumble toward her. My fingers wrap around hers, pull.

            I pull on her fingers, but they won’t let go.

            Even in death she’s desperate. Desperate for death.

            Numb, I stand, staring down into the eyes that never move.

            It seems my mother has killed herself.

            And that smell. It hurts me.

            My body bends forward, trying to rid itself of the images, the smells. But my stomach is empty already. Thank god for hunger.

            I breathe deeply, my hands now covering my face.

            There it is, the dead body. Her dead body.

            My mother is dead.

            My mother killed herself.

            My mother left me alone, in this world. This terrible world.

            And now I’m left to pick up the pieces of her broken life.

            My eyes pop open, and I’m panting. My body is covered in sweat, my mind full of the horrors of memories.

            I scrub my face with both hands, then fling my legs over the side of the lumpy couch that has become my bed.

            I sit there for a moment, trying to push the images back where they belong. The deepest, darkest depths of my memory house many secrets—so many painful secrets. Secrets no one knows. Secrets no one dares ask for.

Hopefully that's piqued your interest. Questions? Comments? Constructive critiques? Keep in mind that this isn't fully edited, of course, and feel free to leave me some! :]

Hypothetical Hardships

I was so surprised...that it's impressively difficult to find scientific information about what would happen if our water supply was dramatically decreased.

Would the world be one giant Arizona?

Yes, I realize that it hasn't happened, at least not in recent times, and so there can only be so much information about it, but I just wonder how there can be so few people interested in looking into the effects of such an occurrence.

Let me explain why this is so frustrating to me: I'm currently working on a new novel, under the premise that the world has run into a water crisis. If you read my post a while ago about a "new project," this is the story I was hinting at. It's a really cool concept, in my opinion, and I think it's a fairly uncommon one, so I'm pretty excited about getting to write my version of what would happen. But I still want it to be as accurate as such a huge, hypothetical situation can be, and that's really hard to find! I started out with enough information to tell me that I should absolutely not make it so the entire supply of water (including oceans) dried up, because that would be the end of pretty much all life on the earth right now...So there's that.

I've been looking, however, for the other effects. I want to know how it would affect the land-based animals if fresh water was so used up that there was none but what humans held for themselves. Probably mass extinction, I'd venture to guess, but then what about the next creatures on the food chain? Sure, herbivores would die because the plants would mostly die (and I'm only saying mostly because I'm also working with the assumption and hope that the ocean's meager supply could still sustain enough plant life to produce oxygen, so that, for example, my human protagonist can even exist), and then carnivores would die out, and then what about bugs? And birds? Do they rely as heavily on that system? Can I keep birds in the story? Can I keep any animals in there? What's plausible?

There's where I run into problems. Apparently no scientists are interested enough in this premise to look into it, or hypothesize. I would take any scientific hypotheses just to supplement my own! I just want to make sure that what I'm writing makes sense in the scheme of things--even if my overarching idea is a far-fetched one (hopefully).

Honestly, I've become so fascinated with the concept, and I really want to get this right, so that maybe if I get some readers, they can say, "Wow. I really feel like I've learned about a possible scenario for this situation." That's all I want! An outcome that could make sense. So, I guess the best I can do is take the information I have found and apply it, and hypothesize the rest myself. Someone's gonna have to read it and tell me it makes sense, though.

Pictured: Not fun.

Ooh, on a more positive note, I've remembered something that could be quite useful: the Dust Bowl of the '30s! What a severe drought that was, and, well, I'm gonna have to use it. So, thanks, random Google search I just did that gave me the idea! Much appreciated! And you, readers, look out for some...well, it's not fun, as you can imagine...

The Sleepy Wannabe-Teacher

I was so surprised...teaching is so tiring!

For those of you who don't know, I just started my student teaching this week. It's been a blast, absolutely, and I LOVE my kids, but I just never realized how exhausting and painful it is to be on my feet, chasing after 5- and 6-year-olds all day. I swear, I thought my feet were gonna fall off!

Now, yes, I'm not really teaching right now, but I'm still there, being a classroom aide all day, and I'm still running after kids who refuse to accept my authority as of yet. Ugh. Like I said, I love my kids--and I mean all of them--but there are a few that just will not accept me as an authority figure yet. But I'm working on it.

Seriously, this week I've had one little boy in particular (we'll call him Fred, which is not his real name) who I've been especially struggling with. He's definitely the do-the-opposite-of-what-the-teacher-says-for-attention kinda kid, and it's hard to level with those guys! Especially when you're just stepping in and look like you're twelve. So we've been kinda battling this week...But I think I've had a breakthrough! Yesterday we had a sub, so he was more willing to listen to me than to this other new person, and he even admitted that we're best friends forever when we were on the playground. :] And then today he was asking me all kinds of questions and "convincing" me that I like the Broncos. What a cutie! He even kind of listened to me when I asked him to behave. What a nice time.

I absolutely love interacting with these kids. They're so adorable, and so funny! Each one has such cute little quirks and I love it. I just hope they like me as much as I like them! That's the scary thing, to me. That they won't like me or they won't wanna listen to me when I do start taking over, say, next week. Yikes!

Also. My apartment is freezing. haha It bears no relevance to the previous...conversation, I'm gonna call it...but seriously, it's frickin cold! I'm currently wearing a long sleeve shirt under a sweater, knee high socks under jeans, with the heater on the "turbo" setting turned up to 90 degrees, and a space heater pointed directly at me. This is just a tad ridiculous.

Anyway, I'm tired, and I'll probably start rambling (Start? Ha!) if I let myself go on any longer. Bottom line here: I'm a very exhausted person this week. So don't expect me to leave my freezing apartment for a while. In fact, maybe I'll stay huddled in my warm(ish) bed. Until next time! :]